Love and Marriage


Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.  ~Barnett R. Brickner

On this Valentine’s Week, we are all thinking about love and hearts of pink and red. So in reflecting about love and marriage in my family, I feel very fortunate to have had good examples of lasting marriages. One set of grandparents were married for over 60 years, the other was married until death parted them and my parents had been married for over 50 years when Daddy died. 

Marriage was not always easy for these couples, but they were determined to make it work. Each of them had made the promise “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part” and they were determine to fulfill those vows. 

My grandfather sent the following message to my parents years ago. It was later given to me and my husband and it has also been passed down to my children and their husbands and today I present his wise counsel on you.

TO HUSBAND AND WIFE:
Preserve sacredly the privacies of your own home, your marriage state, and your heart. Let no father or mother or sister or brother ever presume to come between you or to share the joys or sorrows that belong to you alone. With mutual help, build your quiet world, not allowing your dearest earthly friend to be the confidant of aught that concerns your domestic peace. Let moments of alienation, if they occur, be healed at once. Never, no never, speak of it outside; but to each other confess and all will come out right. Never let the morrow’s sun still find you at variance. Renew and renew your vow. It will still do you good and thereby your minds will grow together contented in that love which is stronger than death and you will be truly one. 

I think what he was trying to say is that every marriage will have troubles, but you don’t have to share them with the world and you should try to work them out daily so that they don’t take root.

Marriages take work and commitment.  Will you take the challenge this week and see what you can do to make your marriage better? Will you work to get rid of the things that have crept in to distract you from your mate? Will you forgive for past hurts? And will you renew the vows in your heart to strengthen your commitment? 

Hebrews 13:4a Marriage should be honored by all.

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